Zoo

by Sje

I am 25 years old and I have 50 regrets. Thirty of them are about you. I used to wander lost but now I am too found. I used to live in deafening darkness but now I stand frozen in the light. Now I know everything is shit and stone.  And money can’t buy happiness but without money you have no freedom and freedom is joy, pure joy, bliss, pure bliss. I thought I felt that once. Now I’m not sure. I pretend to be sure. So I have something to look forward to while I pace in this wonderful, beautiful cage by the water with the hammock that sways in the breeze – what a playpen I have. No need for hunting, the fridge is always full of everything I like, and there are always avocados. Here smells delicate and sweet and warm. Except when it’s hot, then here it is perfectly cool. You would love it. I’ve watched so many sunsets I do not see. I do everything the same over and over again. I forget there is anything outside of this gate. I forget why I stayed. I forget why I came. I sleep.